I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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