I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
