We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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