Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She just used a chaser for red wine.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
