I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
