You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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