So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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