How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
