I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I had to cum in my sink.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
