After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
