I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
