There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
