I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
