I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
