This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
