Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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