He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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