So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
