My first STD was from a foam party
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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