OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
