PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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