We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
