dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
