question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
