the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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