so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
