Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
