An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
cat food counts as protein by the way
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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