you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Randomize
