i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
