Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
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