either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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