The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
