I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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