wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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