He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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