I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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