I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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