I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
