Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm passing your future prison.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize