Umm I'm too high to move.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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