When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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