I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
