I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
