did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
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