We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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