sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
