I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
