everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Enjoy the penises
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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