Sponge bath it is.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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