he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
