i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
