I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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