you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
