Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
