You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize