He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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