Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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