Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
