worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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