She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
