you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
