well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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