The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
