Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Randomize
