"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
