her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
