Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
