This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
