no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
