Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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