okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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