you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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