fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
