We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
it was like eating out sand paper
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
