Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
