Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's shark week go big or go home
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
