My boss' voice literally gives me gas
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
