He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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