god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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